Today I got an unexpected treat in the mail from a California legal internet marketing company. They sent me a box of cookies in the hope that I would call them to see about getting some "tailor-made" marketing for my "unique needs."

There is a grammatical issue in the note, which reads, in part, "The only thing in life that should be mass-produced are cookies." The issue is that "thing" should be paired with "is" or "things" should be paired with "are." So "thing...are" is just wrong. See that? All those years teaching English has paid off.

But even setting aside the grammar, I am not inclined to call.

I can't speak for how things work in California, but in Maine we like our cookies small-batch and home-made. Cookies are not the only things that should be mass-produced. First, they shouldn't be mass produced. And second, things like bricks, railroad ties, wood screws, Model T Fords, and shoelaces should be mass-produced.

If the good people from Scorpion Legal Internet Marketing want to let me know why I should hire them despite the fact that their grammar and their marketing pitch are flawed, I am all ears. 


AuthorJonathan Handelman